Are You Longing for a Soulmate? Find Your True Match

Transcript generated by AI:

Music: 0:00

I will not be afraid of the shadows in the dark. They will lead the way to the hidden pathways of the heart, To that secret place that is where I find my start.

Elizabeth Winkler: 0:17

Welcome to the Shadow and the Light podcast with internationally renowned meditation teacher, davidji.

davidji: 0:23

And heart healer and psychotherapist Elizabeth Winkler, as we guide you through our unique fusion of ancient wisdom and modern psychology.

Elizabeth Winkler: 0:33

Get ready to awaken your true essence, heal your wounds and transform your shadow into in tune, hi, davidji.

davidji: 0:46

Oh, yes, Elizabeth.

davidji: 1:10

I’ve been thinking about this one for a while. I am so excited to get your take on soulmates, love it. I hear this all the time when I ask people what do you really, really, really want? What does your heart long for? And they go I want a soulmate, someone who gets me. I want to meet my soulmate. I want to marry my soulmate. These are usually people on the spiritual path as well Someone who gets me, someone who understands me, someone who’s this resonance and this chemistry and this spirituality and like all those things. And it’s a connection that defies logic. And many of these people have been searching for so long because they have their checklist when they meet someone.

davidji: 1:53

So, do you meditate? That’s number one. Number two have you read anything by Wayne Dyer? Are you familiar with Reverend Beckwith? Are you familiar with Eckhart Tolle? What’s your dosha in Ayurveda? Like all these questions. And will you love me unconditionally as we move through space and time? Will you watch the sunset with me and will you meditate with me every day?

davidji: 2:15

Then maybe we can do responsive reading from the Bhagavad Gita, because we know that soulmates they awaken these dormant or sleeping parts of us. There’s like a depth that regular relationships don’t seem to hold, at least says the person looking for their soulmate, and maybe they’re looking for that connection of desire or purpose or passion. Or, like you and I, we’re on the same page. We see the world exactly in the same way. So there are a few types of soulmates that I have always seen people looking for, and we’ve heard this concept of twin flames. I’m sure you have guided people and they’ve shown up in your therapy sessions as well. There’s the awakener, right the awakener. You bump into them and like within seconds, you know, like I know we have danced in a previous lifetime together.

davidji: 3:09

They electrify our soul. There’s all this passion and intensity. We’ve all had this. We’ve all had that relationship where someone just takes your breath away and they can often stir some deep transformation inside of us and sometimes awaken aspects of ourself that we gave up on or that we let go. Then there’s the mirror and they’re just like oh my god, everything I think, you think every word I speak, you’re finishing my sentences, all those kind of aspects. But like any mirror, their love challenges us to grow. So are we really looking for that? Maybe, maybe not. Then there’s the anchor. This is not necessarily the passion play of the soulmate. This is like, ah, being with you feels like a homecoming. I feel so connected with you, and these are people who often show up in our lives after we’ve had some type of inner healing of some sort.

davidji: 4:08

Why do we ache for a soulmate? Why is that? Why is it that we’re not just looking for someone who will adore me or someone who makes me laugh?

davidji: 4:20

Great dear teacher and friend and brilliant neurologist and therapist, Dr. David Simon, co-founder of the Chopra Center, and people would come to him all the time and say I’m looking for a serious relationship. And he would always say to them why would anyone want a serious relationship? Don’t you want a loving relationship? Don’t you want a relationship that makes you laugh? Don’t you want a relationship where you feel so held and so inspired and uplifted, why a serious one? And so, if you’re looking for a soulmate, maybe you’re looking too hard and maybe your criteria is so strict that you’re not going to allow someone who might just fall wildly in love with you to step into your life. So, Elizabeth, as you journey through all of your sessions and obviously not revealing some of the details, or certainly not the names of the people who’ve come to you and you’ve been able to transmute their pain and help them heal and elevate their lives, how big a part does the whole soulmate conversation play in that world? I think we’re always meeting soulmates. That’s my perspective. I think everyone in your life.

Elizabeth Winkler: 5:23

In that world, I think we’re always meeting soulmates. That’s my perspective. I think everyone in your life, in a sense that I’m looking at in a different way, maybe that everyone is walking you home to yourself, and so these other ones that you’re talking about I mean the twin flame thing is a really interesting one that I’ve seen those as people that come into your lives that awaken something. They come in, it’s like fast and furious and then gone, yeah, and then gone, and it feels like, oh my God, this person is finishing my sentence and like we think in all the things. So it feels like you’re supposed to be together, but then they come in and then they leave.

davidji: 6:01

How much of that is transference, do you think?

Elizabeth Winkler: 6:03

I’ve actually had a personal experience of it. So I don’t know, it was wild, but I learned so much from that. But I’ve seen a lot of people go through it Does it end in heartbreak often. Yes, but I think that the heartbreak is a big part of that transformation, maybe the purpose of that. Everything can be purposeful if you allow it to be. We had an episode on soul contracts. You could go back to that. It’s all those soul contracts.

davidji: 6:34

Definitely check out our episode on soul contracts. We have just had such an amazing outpouring. So many people are reaching out to us. They want more of that soul contract combo, which is why I wanted to spring the soulmate combo on Elizabeth this time.

Elizabeth Winkler: 6:44

I love your bringing up, like the criteria, the list of what this person is supposed to have. I certainly see that all the time and I don’t know that it ever really falls into those things. So your soulmate doesn’t necessarily come in the package that you think they will Right. So be open. I see a lot of people limiting themselves in that way. I work with manifestation a lot. You and I did a manifesting course. People are often manifesting relationships. That’s a huge thing. I would focus more on energy, like I want to have a loving relationship, I want to laugh, I want depth, I want connection. Why do people want soulmates? Because we are creatures of connection.

davidji: 7:24

That’s why there is this concept of limitation, definitely a poverty consciousness or a lack consciousness, where someone says I know there’s only one person out there for me and through divine timing we will meet. And they have tunnel vision so clearly on this thing that there are people who are magnificent, sitting next to them in the movie theater and they’ll never, ever acknowledge it because they’re looking out there so far for the one person on the planet and they also feel well, if it’s hard it must be meant to be so hard to find the needle in the haystack, then it’ll be. When I do ultimately meet that person who sparks my heart and I spark theirs, and it’s magic, it’s kismet, then that’ll be it. It’s also a limitation on that in order for love to be sacred, it has to be eternal or forever.

Elizabeth Winkler: 8:17

Oh, yes, I love this. This is a good thing to bring in.

davidji: 8:21

Elaborate go deep.

Elizabeth Winkler: 8:22

Well, because some people come into your lives just for a short period of time. I’ve certainly had relationships that were not that long lived, but they were so meaningful. As I said, you can get purpose out of anything if you allow yourself. What many of us tend to do, or our mind tends to do, is if something ends, then it’s bad and we have to blame and we have to shame that they did this to us, that they left, or da, da, da, da da, and that might be a part of your process, but let’s not let that be the end of your process. If you just ended, as they left me or sit and they’re a terrible person, you’re not going to reap the benefits. What did you learn from this? What did you learn about yourself? What did you learn that you desire? What did you learn that you don’t desire? Everything is evolving us as human beings Also.

Elizabeth Winkler: 9:06

A huge component to this is what we were conditioned to believe we wanted in a relationship, or what we are conditioned that we think we have to have, or the person needs to be like this or has to be the same as me in this vein. That’s so much conditioning, and if you can just loosen your grip and be open to. Maybe, maybe not. That is one of my mantras. Okay, maybe, maybe not. I see a lot of relationships. I have clients who are really clean and their partner’s not clean, not tidy. That’s really hard for them. That’s just like a small example, but it can become a big thing for people. Right, or you were talking about. They need to believe in the same spiritual practices that I believe in.

davidji: 9:49

As a hoarder, I understand that exact and I understand how not everybody is on board with my hoarding. What just happened between us just a couple of minutes ago? Oh, we were looking at pictures.

Elizabeth Winkler: 10:02

Oh right, we were looking at pictures and I said which ones do you want me to delete? And he said, no, keep them all, Of course, Of course we can’t delete. And I’m looking at one and he’s like I don’t like that one. I’m like, okay, I’ll delete it. No, don’t delete it. Don’t delete it. I want to keep it. I might have a lot too. I hoard photos, that’s for sure. I have 77,000.

davidji: 10:29

Okay, you’re beating me. Here’s another limitation that I think that people seeking you were talking about hoarding. We should go back to that.

Elizabeth Winkler: 10:40

Okay, so let’s make this personal, because it always helps. Thank you.

davidji: 10:44

Elizabeth.

Elizabeth Winkler: 10:45

Well, you brought up the hoarding thing. Are you willing to talk about that in a relationship? Okay, so with your hoarding, that you’re open with us, put on your seatbelts, everyone.

davidji: 10:55

Elizabeth’s going deep with another therapy session with me, perhaps.

Elizabeth Winkler: 10:59

We’ll see. We’ll see. Maybe, maybe not. So how has that impacted? Or, you know, expanded your relationships, Expanded or contracted your relationships or your ability to be? I don’t know. You tell me. You brought it up.

davidji: 11:16

Well, I think my hoarding has a lot of its foundational elements in collecting things from the past. I don’t have a lot of memories about my past, and so I hoard for that.

Elizabeth Winkler: 11:30

It’s very Taurus, is it?

davidji: 11:33

Very Taurus. You know, I think one of the deep, deep limitations of the quest for the soulmate if there’s something about this, and maybe I extrapolate this in other ways looking for someone else to heal your wounds and I think a lot of times the quest for the soulmate is if I can get that perfect companion, that perfect person, the person who completes me, all my wounds will be healed because they’ll get me and they will hold me and they’ll agree with me on all my grievances. Let me find another person who feels about this other person from my past, just like I do, and they’re looking to create some kind of internal heart consensus.

Elizabeth Winkler: 12:17

Now I would say, as you were saying, it’s awakening. Soulmate doesn’t complete you, they awaken you. Soulmate doesn’t complete you. They awaken you, right, you know. They awaken you to aspects of yourself that you haven’t seen or understood or hid from, and it’s a way to expand. But I do think that it can be challenging. You want to connect on certain things.

Elizabeth Winkler: 12:43

The thing that I see for relationships that bring the most strength in relationships are communication. Oh, it makes me think of another story. Actually, a client shared. This may not be like your romantic soulmate, but let me just pull it up because I actually had my client email me about this one second. She was talking in a group. We were in a group. We were talking about communication and how key it is to our relationships and how we can move beyond when we have a challenge, like you’re saying, like the person doesn’t agree with you, but when you have that strength of communication, you can build bridges rather than burn them. Communication, you can build bridges rather than burn them. So she was talking about something she witnessed in a grocery store between two people working there. Here it is so how we have teachers and messengers are everywhere. They are like these little gurus she was saying. So my client was saying.

Elizabeth Winkler: 13:40

I was leaving the grocery store the other day and happened to overhear a beautiful and profound moment between coworkers. I saw one worker attending to the plant shelf and another worker coming inside. From being outside he approached the man at the plant shelf and said hey, what you said earlier hurt my feelings. I want to understand what you were saying. Can you say it to me in a different way? The other man stood up, looked at him and said, very kindly and calmly yes, what I was saying was, and she moved on, but she did not listen to the rest of the story or the conversation. But she was so taken and as all of us were.

Elizabeth Winkler: 14:27

How often do you witness that between two people that are able to just you hurt my feelings, the vulnerability, vulnerability. So there’s a vulnerability. I think that we share in a soulmate connection, right, the ability to go deep, to get vulnerable. How many of us allow ourselves to be vulnerable? But that’s where love is built or happening is when we have that open, broken space where we allow ourselves to say, hey, that hurt my feelings. Can you say it in another way? I said to her email that to me. I want to share that. That’s a great teaching for being able to build connection and understanding where we could easily just feel like he’s an a-hole, you know, or I hate that guy or you know, whatever it is. It’s so easy to go there. But what are we doing when we do that? We’re just building more misunderstanding and judgment where in this moment, some connections we’re connecting, so a soul connection can happen in a grocery store.

davidji: 15:32

You know, yes, we were talking a lot, so much about the romantic type of soul connection. But when someone shows up so vulnerable and I think that sets the table for that type of interaction, hey, what you said hurt my feelings. Now, again, that’s a choice. That’s always a choice, because technically you can’t hurt my feelings. Only I can hurt my feelings if I give weight to what you’re saying. But clearly these people felt comfortable enough to share that and so so powerful. Could you say it in another way? Had he just marched in from the outside and said, hey, that thing you said I don’t think so. Or?

Elizabeth Winkler: 16:09

what’s your problem?

davidji: 16:10

Yeah, yeah, Why’d you say that, Even if he had just said, hey, say that in another way. But once he suddenly took off, all the you can’t see me right now, but I’m like opening my heart and extending my arms to the side, being so totally vulnerable. There’s actually a mudra where you may have seen this. In Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, A lot of these ancient deities and ancient sculptures sometimes have their hands up to the side with their chest sticking forward with their palms open, and this is called hold harmless mudra, Because clearly you’re saying I don’t have any weapons in my hands and my heart is fully exposed in case you want to put a weapon into my heart.

davidji: 16:56

My heart is fully exposed in case you want to put a weapon into my heart. And so when someone says, hey, that hurt my feelings in that moment they’re so vulnerable that should lubricate the interaction to allow the other person to even feel a little more comfortable than sharing something else. They could reply I don’t remember what you were talking about. You were acting like a jerk and so I said this you know, whatever, but suddenly it’s like a pattern interrupt. It’s like introducing a break in the action.

Elizabeth Winkler: 17:24

Yeah, because also, I think that it had happened. And then he went outside and came back in and was able to say something. And this is I call these repairs. You know, it’s never too late to make a repair. It could have happened earlier today, could have happened last week, could have happened years ago. You can say you know what? I’ve been thinking a lot about this thing that we talked about. Or I tell this a lot with parents, because a lot of parents they do something they regret with their kid and then they just don’t ever deal with it. I’m like, go back to your child and tell them you know, when I yelled this morning or whatever it was, I don’t want to be like that. You know, whatever it is, with our partners, with our friends, coworkers, as in this example, we can make a repair.

davidji: 18:09

I love that. It’s never too late to make a repair. That’s just beautiful, that’s just so. That’s like I’ve often said there’s no statute of limitations on setting a boundary, but it’s never too late to make a repair.

Elizabeth Winkler: 18:24

The misunderstanding is people are like, well, it’s been too much time. That would be weird if I brought it up. I’m like everyone wants to be thought of. If you just say I’ve been thinking about you and I was thinking about that conversation that we had, no one’s going to think that that’s weird. It’s nice that you’ve been thinking about me. You know Also, another thing that people think is like with children they’ll be like, they’re not going to remember or whatever. I have found that this is always welcomed when people come back to something or people think, if I bring it up, we’re going to get another fight. But the thing is, when it happened, it was activating right, and that’s not the time, typically, that you can Isn’t?

davidji: 19:01

it the great sage Elizabeth Winkler who says that every activation is an invitation.

Elizabeth Winkler: 19:07

For you to become more free? Yes, but when you are upset or angry it’s hard to cool down. You need that pattern, interrupt, you need that, maybe space or time to reflect and then come back and then you have a new perspective, wider perspective. So repairs are a huge part of healing and growing and evolving in our soulmate relationships.

davidji: 19:33

Yeah, and you know, an important component is you may not get the outcome that you want, but at least as you journey towards the repair, then veils of weight and heaviness fall away. Maybe it doesn’t get repaired. And here’s an important reality no one remembers the conversation the same way I’m thinking about other stuff in my head. Remembers the conversation the same way I’m thinking about other stuff in my head. There’s some scientific data that says that people only remember 7% of the actual content of what you’ve said. Everything else is feelings and emotions. So like I know how you made me feel, but I don’t remember the words. And when you said you’re a jerk, and then the person says I didn’t say you were a jerk, I said you’re irritating me or something like that, it’s almost like there were two people were just like guessing at what the conversation was. So I think it’s never too late to make a repair because, quite honestly, people know how you made them feel, but they have no, or how they chose to feel from your words and attitude and actions and emotions. But it can’t be quantified because it’s not remembered the same way.

davidji: 20:47

So even going back to repair is actually a third conversation. It’s not revisiting the original one. It’s the conversation that was in that person’s head or heart, the conversation you were actually having with your words. And now here’s another one. It’s the conversation that was in that person’s head or heart, the conversation you were actually having with your words. And now here’s another one. So we get to just keep reinventing, rebranding, personally and professionally, rehealing the moment. And it’s okay for you to come back to a conversation and say I think you might have heard these words, but can I tell you what I really meant by this? And so when this person came back and asked the person can you say that in another way? Actually, I don’t think you even said that, but that was my recollection. Can you say that in another way? What were the words they used?

Elizabeth Winkler: 21:33

Yeah, they said can you, could you say that in another way? Okay said, hold on, Let me find it.

davidji: 21:39

Because here I am paying such close attention to you, hey, he said.

Elizabeth Winkler: 21:43

Hey, what you said earlier hurt my feelings. I want to understand what you were saying. Can you say it to me in a different way? Then the other man stood up, looked at him and said very kindly and calmly yes, what I was saying was so this goes back to my teaching If there’s a six in front of me, there’s a nine in front of you, and I tell this to couples all the time. So I’m going to say it’s a six, you’re going to say a nine, everyone here is correct, but it’s just a different perspective. So we can dig in our heels and argue about that, or I can say help me understand. And that’s what he said. I want to understand what you he said. I want to understand what you were saying. So help me. If you’re ever feeling like you’re stuck in judgment with anyone, help me understand what you’re seeing or what you’re saying.

davidji: 22:36

Help me understand what you’re saying or what you meant. That is so valuable, so important, or what you meant that is so valuable, so important. And yeah, maybe it sets you up for someone to be rude or mean or smack you down, but you’re already in a conflicted space. As I said, it acts as a lubricant to allow a deeper or more fulfilling conversation for both of you. So when we talk about this concept of soulmate, soulmatism or soulmate, you know I want my soulmate, deliver the soulmate. I’m looking for the soulmate. And in the last teacher training that I did, we had 52 people in that. Everybody’s online for 16 weeks and in the final week some people choose to come to San Diego and we finish that final week in person, and other people choose to stay online and we finish that final week for them two weeks later online.

davidji: 23:33

And you know I watch a lot of TV, a lot of TV. I’m a professional, I’m a streaming professional. I watch at least three to four hours a day of TV and so I would be talking about like what I was watching or what I was doing and I’d say how many of you are like watch that show. 52 people, two people raised their hands and then, like 10 people said I don’t even have a TV. And then 10 other people said I don’t watch any streaming content ever, under any circumstances. And five of the people said I don’t even watch the news.

davidji: 24:05

And so a lot of times we think like people in, like the spiritual world, the spiritual realm, they’re only like burning incense and chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, or reading the Bhagavad Gita or listening to the whispers of Paramahansa Yogananda or only paying attention to Wayne Dyer or Ram Dass or things along those lines. It’s okay to be like fully living in the world and, at the same time, having a deep spiritual practice, such as meditation, such as all these other behaviors that people are exhibiting in certain ways. So we don’t have to put ourselves in these lanes and channels. So I think the concept of soulmate might have come up a long time ago by someone who never watched TV and only listened to these spiritual teachers and only sat there with a crystal in their hand or burning incense or smudging their house or something like that. But I think we’re all looking for a soul connection, everybody’s looking for a soul connection.

davidji: 25:12

So I invite you to perhaps journal about this. I know this season I’ve been really recommending to take some time to chronicle your life, to journal, to write a little bit about how you’re feeling and what’s going on. But I think if we can go through a certain journaling aspect, we can uncover the sacred lover within. And maybe that comes in the form of someone just delivering a cappuccino to you in a restaurant and suddenly you know it’s love at first sight and love forever. Or maybe it’s just a server delivering a cappuccino to you.

davidji: 25:51

So why don’t you ask this question? Number one what are the qualities that I’m looking for in a sacred romantic partner? And when I say romantic, you know that’s up to your interpretation. Whatever you think that looks like, you know someone who you can hold hands with, someone who you can feel comfortable enough to hug or to be intimate with, either emotionally or physically or spiritually. So what qualities am I truly seeking in this romantic partner? Because I remember there was someone who said to me they need to be six foot four, they need to have a black mustache, they need to be relatively thin, and I was like, damn, you’ve just knocked out, definitely knocked me out, and suddenly you just knocked out a whole bunch of people, I don’t know, like six billion in that process, out of the people on the planet.

davidji: 26:45

Then ask yourself this deep follow-up question when in my life have I already touched those qualities within myself? Because typically we’re looking for someone who is going to awaken more of what we already have or going to bring in deeper awareness on the things that light us up. Another deep question to ask, and I think this is so important and again, I spend a lot of time writing and journaling, so this is second nature to me, but I have found it so cathartic and healing and expansive. I really want to infuse this practice within you as well. Who has awakened my heart most deeply and what did that love reveal about me? A lot of times we think it’s all on the other person, but if I’m revealing something that bubbles up inside of me, that, gee, I must have trusted or allowed that other person to get close enough to get to that space. Or maybe they resonated with that same vibration that I have. Again, the deeper question.

davidji: 27:55

And Elizabeth and I I think it was in season one we talked about worthiness and worthiness to be loved. Or are you worthy of love and worthiness to be loved, or are you worthy of love? If I believed I was already lovable already whole. How would that shift in how I love and how would that shift in what I’m looking for out there? Because when we’re feeling so whole, we can sashay and saunter and we’re not worried and we’re not feeling uncompleted, we’re just feeling so whole and complete within ourselves.

davidji: 28:29

And I believe that’s being alone which is big difference between loneliness, which is when you’re looking for something, someone to fully complete you, and aloneness, which is really solitude, which is you sasheng. And then it comes down to the law of attraction. So the deeper you are in love with yourself, the more you’re going to attract someone special in your life. And if you don’t love yourself, you’re only going to attract two types of people A fixer, someone who’s going to try to make you whole, or a predator, someone who’s going to take advantage of the fact that you feel broken. But when you feel whole, you attract the most magnificent beings and energy into your space. Would you agree with that, Elizabeth?

Elizabeth Winkler: 29:18

I would, and I also just want to speak to the fact that, because I feel like a lot of people might be like, well, I don’t feel whole, you know, but they’ve done a lot of healing work, because we’re always growing and becoming and realizing I have more work to do and all that. It’s not like I’m whole and I’m done. I’m done with this healing journey. We still have healing that is happening about like having one foot in that wholeness and then, but also knowing there’s more work to be done right, right.

davidji: 29:48

Really. What I mean is I think we attract-.

Elizabeth Winkler: 29:51

Because it can feel impossible.

davidji: 29:54

Right, we attract what we believe we’re worthy of.

Elizabeth Winkler: 30:01

Right being beyond worthiness.

davidji: 30:03

Right. So that’s money, that’s people, that’s energy of all kinds, and thank you for calling me in to be a little more impeccable. This even goes back to Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Maslow claimed that you can’t move to the next level of needs, and those levels are physiological we talked about this in a couple of episodes a couple of seasons ago Physiological safety and security, love and belongingness, esteem, and then, of course, self-actualization.

davidji: 30:35

And Maslow’s theory is premised on the fact that you can’t move to the next level up until you’re at least working on the one beneath that. So if you’re looking for love and belongingness, you have to at least be working on feeling safe, safety and security. And so I think it’s the same thing with wholeness. The healing journey is a journey, and it ends maybe when you take your last breath. Maybe it doesn’t even end there, and so as long as you are in the process of healing, what’s healing? It’s returning to the memory of your wholeness, which is a journey. So thank you for creating that space for me to be a little more articulate in that, because it’s an ongoing healing journey.

Elizabeth Winkler: 31:20

Yeah, we’re never really done right, but a lot of people can project that into the world and then feel like I’m never, like I’m obviously really broken and all that sort of stuff.

Elizabeth Winkler: 31:32

The brokenness is part of our humanity and actually when we can speak about that, knowing that that makes us human and real and vulnerable, and in that space where we can speak about it and talk about it, that’s where we connect and that’s where we heal right. So when you’re challenged by your soulmate, you know something that we talked about I think maybe I’m not sure what season it was but love, languages and how we can feel seen and how we feel loved, and that that’s a really important thing for people to look at. But I also think being able to have conversations about purpose and values I mean energetically, like I value peace or I value kindness, these sorts of things energetics, I think are something that really pull people together in a deep way. So that’s just another component that I see in these deep loving relationships that go beyond, you know, just your everyday relationship, people that are more connected at a soul level of purpose and values connected at a soul level of purpose and values.

davidji: 32:44

So powerful, so powerful. And now it’s time for today’s takeaway Living the light. So how do we attract aligned love? That’s really what this whole journey was, and I know you’ve been waiting with bated breath right to this final moment. Number one we have to embody the love that we desire to receive. When you look in the mirror and you say you’re beautiful, you’re doing a great job and I love you to yourself, if you can believe that, if you can truly feel that, then of course you’re a loser. You suck at everything and no one loves you. Well, that’s not even kind to your pet, so that would just be mean to your lizard or your parrot or your cat or your dog.

davidji: 33:50

To begin to get on this healing journey, healing the spaces within us where we believe that we’re not worthy, I think we need to swat that negative voice that says, oh, you’re not worthy of love. Oh, no, you shouldn’t receive this. Beyonce is worthy of love, not you. Suddenly we’re in that comparative thing. Let’s begin that journey of healing those spaces Wherever you feel less than breathe into that and know aham, brahmasmi, baby, you are the universe Number three. When it comes to the soulmate concept. I think we need to release the fantasy.

Elizabeth Winkler: 34:36

Yes.

davidji: 34:38

And trust divine timing, just let go. You know that’s what Tinder’s for. Go there if you’re just looking for a hookup, but if you’re really looking for People meet their soulmates there.

Elizabeth Winkler: 34:49

I’m sure they do. I’m sure they do. It does happen.

davidji: 34:51

Swipe, swipe, swipe. And again I’ll come back to that final statement you attract what you believe you are worthy of. And I remember I was talking to T Harv Eker a bunch of years ago, one of the great abundance teachers on the planet and of our time. He was saying it’s like having a financial thermostat and if you set yours high because you believe it’s high, then you will begin to attract and then receive. And if you set it low, of course your expectations are so low that someone just looking at you and you go, oh, were you looking at me? And they’re like, yeah, yeah, there’s no ketchup on my table.

davidji: 35:34

Could you pass me yours? You know, and you think it’s, think it’s. They were looking at me because it was a soul connection. No, they were just looking for the ketchup. So if you can just set your thermostat a little higher than ketchup, then perhaps you’ll start to attract all the people in your life who are here to serve you and adore you and make you whole and full and complete, because you feel that way inside to begin with.

Elizabeth Winkler: 36:06

And it doesn’t always come in the package you expect. Right, Be open to that. When you have a list and they don’t have that thing on the list, can you loosen your grip on that and just be like let me explore this?

davidji: 36:22

Maybe I was wrong and I think one of the ways to do that exactly is to just keep ordering stuff for a morning delivery and an afternoon delivery on Amazon and whoever the delivery people are, that’s 14 opportunities to meet somebody new. My name is davidji, I’m here with Elizabeth Winkler and we are the shadow and the light. It’s a joy to be spending this time with you and maybe this can help you clarify your quest for your soulmate and maybe this has demystified some of the soulmate lingo and hopefully you’ve gotten some good ideas to help your heart heal, to step into your power and to meet the most special person in your life, which is you. Come on, jamar, let’s do it.

Music: 37:13

The light is here to remove all my fears and to bring new sight the light is the time that will go to the deep to take me to you the shadow and the light. There’s no fog and rock bottom. You hold it as you’re on the mend, but don’t rush past this moment. The darkness can become a friend. Love will come by your side and you’ll shine brighter than a million suns a million suns. You went through hell, but now you’re in the light. It is here to remove all your fears and to bring new sight the light. It is now that we’ll go to the deep To take you to the light, the shadow. And the light has come Because in our lives, the light has come. The light has come to set us free. The shadow comes because it loves us. The shadow comes to set us free. The light is here to remove all our fears and to bring new life. Oh, the light. The light Is the light that will come out of the deep To take us to new heights, To the shadow and the light.