Use Your Sh*t: Turning Pain into Power

Transcript generated by AI:

Elizabeth Winkler: 0:16

Welcome to the Shadow and the Life podcast with internationally renowned meditation teacher davidji.

davidji: 0:23

And particularly psychotherapist, Elizabeth Winkler, as we guide you through our unique fusion of ancient wisdom and modern psychology. Hi, davidji Oh, hello there, Elizabeth.

Elizabeth Winkler: 1:07

Let me tell you what’s going on. Eli, my son, is about to leave the nest, as they say. I’m about to be an empty nester because my daughter’s already away at school. So obviously, that’s bringing up a lot of emotions. I’ve been feeling it all. Many people out there have been through this and are going through it. So we went on a trip together recently. We took a trip for one week together. And on that trip, I had this amazing experience that I want to share with you and didn’t really realize that I was going to be sitting in this canoe. I was on a sunrise canoe with a bunch of other people, and it was really a life-changing moment. We got up at sunrise and got on this sunrise canoe. It’s a thing that you do in Hawaii. It’s where we were. And we paddle out to watch the sunrise. And as we stop and pause just to breathe in the serenity of the sea, and one of the guides, he basically gave us like a sermon on the sea. And I was listening to him and I kind of felt like I was on our podcast. He wanted to talk about some things that he had been reflecting on. So he said, I want to talk about responsibility and accountability and how they were different things. And he was talking about how all of us in our lives, we all are pretending. We’re all pretending to be fine. We’re all pretending that we’re good. We’re all pretending we’ve got it all figured out. And we are pretending because we are trying to protect something. But what are we protecting? We’re protecting our pain, we’re protecting our mess, we’re protecting our shit. And the truth is that we all have got shit. And when we release the personality, now I came up with this personality of pretending that came out of a session the other day. When we can release the personality of pretending and stop holding it all together to survive, to stop keeping up this image that we’re holding on to, we begin to step into something more powerful, into our vulnerability. We’re not pretending, we’re not hiding. And we allow ourselves to be more human in our connection because we all have shit. So what if we can allow that to remind us of our humanity and that we have that choice? And then he went on to say, we all go to Home Depot.

davidji: 3:43

And for those of you not familiar with the Home Depot, it’s a home improvement store with massive gardening, lots of gardening stuff there.

Elizabeth Winkler: 3:52

We all go to Home Depot to literally buy fertilizer, a bag of shit for our gardens. And he looked at all of us like very intently into ours and said, use your shit. Use your shit. How are you using it? Instead of denying it and pretending, I’m good, everything’s fine. I got it all together, walking around, smiling, grinning, and burying it. Use it. We play the victim to our pain often. We pretend it’s not there. We bury it. We keep secrets. So I talked in a former episode about shame. Secrets hold all my energy, all my evolution, all my empathy. We chose evolution. Secrets hold all my evolution. Shame.

davidji: 4:37

I love your acronyms.

Elizabeth Winkler: 4:39

And that’s what we’re doing when we hide our shit. But we have a choice. We can allow it to let something grow within us when we use it as a fertilizer. So whatever you’re going through, that secret that you’ve been holding of maybe something isn’t going as well, and or whatever it may be. You know, I talked about me facing my own health challenges that I had been hiding from. My journey since then, I’ve been doing all the things and talking about it and working through it and facing what I was not facing, which has been very good for me. So what are we afraid to face? That’s the place where our shadow can become more light. That’s where the light wants to enter. And that’s where our authentic person, you know, the real person that’s trying to be born, that’s emerging from the lotus coming up from the mud in which you sit. So this goes into like no mud, no lotus. You know, the lotus is born from the mud. And so that’s what I wanted to talk about. That we need our pain, our mess, our our shit, so to speak, in order to birth these new ways of becoming and being and being authentic. So if anyone feels like an imposter, a lot of people talk about that imposter syndrome. How are you pretending? What are you hiding? And often we are hiding these parts of ourselves or this shit, so to speak, because we feel shame. But if we can just allow, and and maybe you can’t admit it to a friend, maybe you can’t admit it to a family member, write it down in a journal. Get in bed with your pet, talk to your pet, or talk to a therapist. Just letting yourself speak it. Sometimes we don’t even know what it is until we speak out loud to give it freedom. And when we do that, we really open up the doors to our truth. When when we, as you said in that shame episode, that the shame suffers in silence. And that by giving it a voice, we actually come to see it’s like actually kind of manageable. And we can start to heal and we can start to connect and start to see how to work with it. So that’s what I wanted to talk about. How are you using your shit? What are you doing with it? And what garden do you want to grow?

davidji: 7:05

Wow. Hmm. Am I showing up and am I acting, making decisions out of fear, love, or habit? Fear, love, or habit. And sometimes it’s expediency. I bump into people all the time and they’re like, Yeah, how you doing? And I’m like, Amazing. Maybe it makes them feel bad. But I feel amazing. Every day. I’m so excited to be alive. I’m so excited for the stuff I have in my life, even the stuff that’s waning. I’m rarely putting on a brave face, but sometimes just for expediency, I’ll bump into someone in Home Depot that I know.

Elizabeth Winkler: 7:50

So you’re buying when you’re buying your fertilizer?

davidji: 7:52

I don’t buy fertilizer. It’s a joke. No, I don’t. Fear, love, or habit. And I guess that would be habit. It’s not authentic. Because fear and love, those are authentic. But habit, it’s just Is fear authentic? Oh yeah. I don’t know about that.

unknown: 8:12

Yeah.

davidji: 8:13

Most fears are not authentic. No, no. I’m acting authentically.

Elizabeth Winkler: 8:18

Maybe.

davidji: 8:18

You know? My fear. I would question that. My fear is real. Is it valid? But it’s real. If I’m afraid, I’m afraid. You can’t tell me no, you’re not afraid. I’m not saying that’s what I’m saying. But you could say, oh, it’s based on gibberish and you’re An assumption or a projection, most likely what you’re making up. Yeah.

Elizabeth Winkler: 8:39

And make it making you scared because you made up a story in your mind. That’s why I’m saying it’s not real.

davidji: 8:45

Right, but it’s authentic.

Elizabeth Winkler: 8:47

Okay, I I don’t I don’t know.

davidji: 8:49

Oh, come on, let’s go there.

Elizabeth Winkler: 8:50

I would have completely different definition of that. I think that love is is is authentic and true. What’s true? Oh, I didn’t say the fear was true. Okay. Well, see, I th see it’s how we’re defining things.

davidji: 9:01

Right.

Elizabeth Winkler: 9:02

We’re having a relationship right now. Oh. This is what we do in relationship. This is what we do in relationship in Elizabeth’s life. So, you know, you have to define it.

davidji: 9:10

How long have you been wrong on this issue?

unknown: 9:13

Me?

Elizabeth Winkler: 9:17

We have to define things. Yeah. We have to define things. You’re saying authentic. I’m thinking truth. When I think of authenticity, I’m like, is it true? You know? And I’m like, I I don’t think that fear is really truth. I think fear is usually a bunch of stories that we’re telling ourselves. But that’s fine. We can define it differently.

davidji: 9:36

Fear is a real emotion. I’m afraid I’m going to get to the restaurant and they’re going to be out of my special dish that I go there for. So it’s real. F-E-A-R. False evidence appearing real. Is it true? Well, we’ll find out when we get to the restaurant. But my fear is real. I actually have that fear. My palms are sweaty. I’m feeling dysregulated. We did an episode on regulating your nervous system. All right. So like it’s real. Is it true? We’ll find out. But it’s real.

unknown: 10:13

Sorry.

davidji: 10:14

You’re starting to move stuff around. You’re getting nervous. So come on, let’s explore this.

Elizabeth Winkler: 10:20

Let’s explore the I’m talking about using your shit. Right?

davidji: 10:24

Yeah.

Elizabeth Winkler: 10:25

Okay. Yeah.

davidji: 10:26

You know, are you showing up?

Elizabeth Winkler: 10:28

Your fear is typically your shit.

davidji: 10:29

In fear, in love, or out of habit. Are we making decisions out of fear, out of love, or out of habit? If you’re making decisions out of fear and desperation, they will not be well informed in situations.

Elizabeth Winkler: 10:43

It’ll create more shit, probably. But that’s not a problem. In this scenario, we can use our shit as fertilizer. So nothing is a problem. The shadow isn’t a problem. The fear isn’t a problem. Nothing is a problem unless you say it is. Just work with it. How are you? That’s what he’s talking about. How are you working with this stuff that you’ve been hiding from that you’re pretending isn’t going on? Right? It’s like, okay, it’s a part of you. Or it’s a part of your life. Work with it. Allow it to be a yes and, not an either or. So I mean, this is the essence of shame, right? Yes. Which we did talk about already. But you know, this is what what are we not willing to look at? What do we want to deny? What do we want to blame on everybody else? There you go. You know? The blame game. You know, piling on, as you say. It’s it’s just not looking at how am I contributing to this? Or how can I work with it? Yeah.

davidji: 11:47

So we could talk about these concepts of authenticity and integrity, right? Those are different. Those are distinctly different. But when it comes to feelings, when it comes to fear, which is a you know, which is a feeling and it’s real. And it’s often not valid. And we often fear things that will never actually unfold in that way. So much of our fear is how we want to be seen. If I want to be seen in a certain way, I’m never going to reveal to you what truly is inside. I’m never gonna get that vulnerable because then you might think I’m weak. We’ve talked about weak.

Elizabeth Winkler: 12:35

But this is this is everything, everything you’re saying right now. This is everything. That’s your vulnerable case. When you say, I don’t want to show you that, everybody’s got that. Right. Everybody’s got that. That’s the shit where we all meet. That’s where we become a human family, and we’re like, yeah, I struggle, you struggle. People don’t fall in love with perfection. People don’t fall on the person fall in love with the person that’s got it all together and they’re just perfect all the time. It’s like, no, that’s not relatable. It’s not relatable. What’s relatable? When I tell you my secret, when I tell you, you know what, I’m having a really hard time with such and such, or whatever. I’m embarrassed to say, as I said in that episode. You know, people are like, really? Me too. I have a struggle with that. You start to open up to your vulnerability, and everyone’s like, Yeah, me too. How did you deal with it? You know, and then we can help each other and we connect. Sorry, I jumped in, but that’s exactly where we needed to go.

davidji: 13:32

Love it, love it when you’re passionate. I have no idea what we’re talking about, but I love that.

Elizabeth Winkler: 13:36

Okay. It’s all about vulnerability, which is where your authentic self really is. So when you were saying it’s authentic, I’m like, yeah, okay, we can go there and say the fear is authentic because there’s something authentic under it that we’re typically hiding from. It’s like, I feel fear, and I’m like, I gotta protect my fear. So I gotta go do the thing so that I don’t have to talk about the thing. So we’re usually protecting it through our pretending. And I was with a client, this is when I got back from Hawaii, and I don’t remember what we’re talking about. And I just all of a sudden started saying personality of pretending. I’m like, oh, I like that. We can just talk about that in uh in the podcast. So, what is our personality of pretending? Where in your life do you take that in? Where do you pretend? We all do it sometimes. Don’t judge yourself, it’s not a big deal. Like it just it might be actually hiding the essence of your uniqueness. Because for some reason you think if someone saw that, it’s exactly what you said. If somebody saw that, they might think I’m weak. Well, maybe your weakness is your uniqueness.

davidji: 14:43

And in your vulnerability rests your strength.

Elizabeth Winkler: 14:46

Exactly. So weakness is your uniqueness. So at some point in time in your life, probably when you were very young, you were judged for something, and you deemed that as weak or vulnerable, or okay, I’m not safe. It’s not safe. Gotta close that down. Nope, nobody’s going there. Goodbye. You’re out. So then what did we do to ourselves? We we lock that up and we abandon ourselves ultimately and most likely live in our head around that. And that’s okay. No judgment. But we make a lot of assumptions and projections and identity around that. This is what creates the story of me. And underneath that is this I feel not enough because that was a vulnerable moment and I felt weak. And so I’m not gonna let anyone see that. So I’m gonna lock that up and I’m gonna have this thing that I protect. But really, are you protecting yourself or are you limiting yourself and continuing to judge yourself and feel weak because that’s actually the engine that is running the whole show? If you can actually allow yourself, which is what the guy on the canoe was was inviting us, to take off the mask and to actually just take a look. Nobody needs to know. And just take a look at what is that? What was that memory of your of that moment when you felt weak or you felt vulnerable and someone wasn’t actually kind to you, someone wasn’t caring, and someone actually really did hurt you. And that’s real. That’s real. But that might still be living in you, and that might not be digested, and that might need to be seen, and that might need to be held, and that might need to be given space to breathe. And that’s what therapy is about, and that’s what what we’re all about here is giving space for those areas of our lives to be witnessed. And that’s the hand reaching up from your heart. Like that’s your child, your inner child that’s longing. That’s that child within you that wants to just be just wants you to say it’s okay. It’s okay. Maybe what happened is not okay. I’m not saying it’s okay what happened, but it’s okay that you’re here and that you’re longing for this embrace or longing for love or longing for whatever you didn’t receive. And maybe in this moment you can receive by just putting a hand on your heart and just breathing in and saying it’s okay. Like I’m here. My adult self is here to say, I’m here. And I can reconnect to the part of myself that I abandoned or that I abandoned from time to time. And say yes to that and bring like a gentle, loving yes to that, to your heart, to yourself, to your being. And this is how we become more whole and complete within ourselves.

davidji: 17:41

And I’ll come back to fear, love, or habit. And we could ask how you do every single moment. You show up for a dinner with someone, you meet someone in Home Depot, you whatever it is, how you interact, how you respond, is going to be either out of fear, love, or habit. And it doesn’t have to be stuck in that way. You can actually say to you, you know what, I want to show up with love. Let me open my heart here. I feel the love, I want to flow the love, let me be a conduit for love. Normally, when we’re in fear mode, we’re not really even aware of it. We’re not aware. You know, we’re scared. We’re not having the conscious understanding while we are afraid of something. It’s just hormones and chemicals trying to get away from it. We’re trying to, you know, get past it. We could distill those things down to fear, love, or habit. How do we show up? How do we speak? How do we engage? How do we even depart? It’s a deep question because most people don’t want to address it. They don’t want to look that hard in the mirror.

Elizabeth Winkler: 18:47

I think the reason people don’t want to is because they don’t know how. They don’t know how. No one teaches us this. It’s so simple. The simplest techniques work. Breathing with your heart. It works. Pausing it works, getting present in nature, in your body, finding ways to stabilize in that way. Works. You don’t have to analyze. You don’t have to talk about the story. You don’t. You can, but you don’t have to. So it’s very simple. And mantras help. Meditation helps. Having people that support you helps. You do need to have writing in journals helps. Being able to reflect helps. People are afraid to look within. But actually, it’s harder when you’re in constant running from yourself because you’re always with yourself. So you can’t doesn’t really work. Because when I face it, it’s not that bad.

davidji: 19:52

If you’re willing to face it, that’s harder. It’s harder to pick up the mirror. It’s harder to confront your fears. It’s harder to confront your actions. It’s harder to confront how you’ve shown up and how you’ve been and what the repercussions are of that and woulda, coulda, shoulda, like all that. That’s harder. That’s harder because it’s so much easier to like distract, deflect, distract, deflect, distract, deflect. But doing that work is so much less painful because there are breakthroughs, there are movements, there’s evolution. You know, we’re actually changing as we do this. We’re actually learning and growing. So harder, but more beneficial. The other route, distract, deflect, is maintaining the pain trajectory and just altering it a little bit. It’s really easy to pick up the weed. It’s really easy to pick up the drink. It’s really easy to create events that will prevent you from actually looking at yourself.

Elizabeth Winkler: 20:46

Okay, I’m getting all these visuals. It’s like overwhelming. So Charlie Brown, you know, Snoopy, Charlie Brown, there was the character. People even know who Charlie Brown is anymore. There was the character that had the little whirlwind around him always. Do you know what I’m talking about? Everyone’s what is it? Pig pen. Pig pen. So there was this character. Yeah, but like being blown about. It’s easier. Okay. Like constant. It’s it’s not actually, if you actually look at it, it’s not easier. You’re constantly actually in pain because it’s in residing inside of you. You just you’re deluding yourself that you’re actually not being inhabited by it all the time. So it’s like it’s like weeds, you know, like it’s working at the level of weeds. You cut the weeds, they come back, they keep coming back, they keep coming back. You have to keep keep doing the thing to distract, keep happy to doing the thing because it’s still bothering you, it’s still bothering you. So I gotta keep doing this distraction, which is like controlling your life. Or this other way, which might be deeper work, is working at the root. So if you work at the root, no more weeds, no more thing. You’re working at the root, it’s gone. So is healing hard? Yes. People come in and they say, I want to heal. I’m like, okay, you know what healing looks like? It can look really messy, it can be a lot of crying, can be a lot of things that you witness and realize that you didn’t realize. So yes. And and that maybe that’s what you’re meaning, that it’s hard in that way, ultimately liberating, ultimately freedom.

davidji: 22:27

And this goes back to our episode, Can People Change? And that the very first step in this process is saying, okay, I’m gonna do some work here. I’m going to reflect, I’m going to journal, I’m going to talk to a therapist, I’m going to look at my life and see the places that are not nourishing me and look at the places that are nourishing me. I’m going to look at those. That just the looking is so hard. It would be so much easier for me not to pay any attention to that and just watch something on TV instead. Ultimately, though, that keeps me in my suffering. So, yes, I believe the path to healing is a hard path. And it requires much more attention and much more really leaning into the direction that does not have an endpoint. It’s like I have to keep showing up. I have to keep showing up. I have to keep showing up. That’s enough to say to someone, oh, too much. It’s too hard. I can’t even go there. This is why people stay in it in the throes of addiction for so long. It’s so much easier just to pick up the bottle to fill the emptiness. It’s so much easier to snort a line or to smoke something to fill the emptiness than to sit with the emptiness and go, ah, that emptiness, it’s so painful. Let me address it. People tell me when my solution is let’s just sit and meditate. They’re like, ah, it’s so hard. Sit and doing nothing for 20 minutes. It’s exhausting.

Elizabeth Winkler: 23:52

I can’t do that. For everyone that’s listening and feeling like, well, I’m never gonna heal. It’s so hard. I’m like listening to you, I’m like, nobody’s gonna want to heal now. We need to work with low-hanging fruit. We can make this easier. How do we make this easier? Work with small things. Work with small things. Now, some people that’s traffic. Some people, traffic is not a small thing, it’s a big thing. People have road rage. But like little irritations. You said once that there’s a teaching in every tension, right? You said that. You did.

davidji: 24:24

It was so profound then.

Elizabeth Winkler: 24:25

Right? I love that. So whatever is bringing a little tension into your life, you work with the small things. Work with the small things. Bring breath to it. Take a breath. Say a mantra can handle this, or if it’s a judgment, maybe, maybe not. Use a mantra to help you make lemonade out of that lemon. Use little tiny things because if you keep doing that, then all of a sudden, you’re in the bigger thing that used to always bring tension, and the tension isn’t there. This is how we can really build a reservoir within ourselves, a capacity to be able to handle stuff by working with little things. So I just want to make it digestible. So it doesn’t feel like, oh God, I gotta go to therapy and be in therapy forever and la la la. Like work with small things.

unknown: 25:17

Right.

davidji: 25:18

Well, the purpose of this whole process is to heal. And that is a journey. Right? There’s not a day that we wake up and go, I’m whole. It’s over. No more healing needed. Cured. Totally perfect. Healing is a process. And to begin that journey, I it’s just an opinion. It’s just my opinion. Take that for whatever it’s worth. But I believe it is hard work because it’s rededicating yourself to this journey of healing, as opposed to let me just flow through life and whatever it’s showing up and doing to me or at me, that’s what my life is going to be. If we live a purpose-driven life, if we live with greater intention, even if that intention is, let me be a little happier here, let me be a little more engaging, let me hold up the mirror and just see what happens. Then suddenly this thing just takes off. So I think it accelerates. The healing accelerates the more time you’re just willing to sit in it. So we can sit in your distraction or you could sit in your healing journey. I believe the healing journey is harder. And I don’t mean to tell people, oh, it’s too hard for you, so never mind. Really, what I’m saying is it requires for you to redirect your attention, which can be very, very hard for other people, because we are habitual beings. And if you’ve been showing up in a conditioned way for 20, 30 years, guess what? It’s more likely that you’ll continue to show up in that way for the next 20, 30 years. And if you’re willing to say, let me put a stake in the ground right here, let me pivot on this and let me see what is new and fresh and different. I find joy in those moments. But it’s harder to suddenly go and turn the aircraft’s carrier around in another direction. So I believe the payoff is a thousandfold in terms of what our life ends up being. But I think it’s hard. I think it’s hard. I don’t I think if it wasn’t hard, no one would be addicted to anything. They just go, oh, this doesn’t serve me anymore, and let just me move to the easy thing over there. But I think to change habits, to change addictions, to change conditioned behavior does require you have to be willing. You have to have a pattern interrupt of some sort, some kind of break in it, or some kind of divine convergence of message, messenger, and timing. The message has to be something that speaks to your soul. The messenger has to be a trusted source. That could be a blog, that could be a conversation, it could be a book, it could be a teacher, it could be a therapist, it could be a coach, it can be a parent or a friend, it can be anyone. It can be an animal, it can be your dog. You know, 40 million Americans have dogs. And 30 million Americans have cats. You’re in that special divine conversions. And the third component is timing. And I like to refer to that timing thing as there needs to be a window of receptivity. The message, the messenger, and you’ve got to be willing to receive it. We can’t manipulate that. We’re either going to vibe with the message, vibe with the messenger, and be open in that moment. And if we’re just distracted, just for a little bit, like, oh, look at that. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve seen it happen in classes where I have been the trusted source, I’ve been the messenger, and I’m putting the mic drop line out there, and it’s about to descend on this particular person who is open. They came to this retreat to hang out, they’re cracked open, they’re ready to receive. And just as the words leave my lips, they suddenly their phone buzzes and they go, Oh, my niece just had a baby. That’s it. My words just went whoosh right past them. So no transformation can occur in those moments. The work is challenging. The work is challenging, but the payoff is unbelievable. So you and I may disagree on this, but maybe it’s just a nuance in languaging. But I believe that to turn my attention from the easy thing that’s not nourishing is challenging. I like the word challenging.

Elizabeth Winkler: 29:40

I like the word challenging.

davidji: 29:42

Okay.

Elizabeth Winkler: 29:43

Yeah.

davidji: 29:43

Let’s go with that.

Elizabeth Winkler: 29:44

Because I think it’s just challeng I think. Let’s end this episode.

davidji: 29:47

Are you challenged?

Elizabeth Winkler: 29:48

You say it’s challenging. I’m like, yes. Challenging.

davidji: 29:52

Well, perhaps I was not impeccable enough with my word. That’s what I meant. Challenging. Hard is more subjective. But it’s It’s a challenge.

Elizabeth Winkler: 30:00

Yeah.

davidji: 30:01

To suddenly go, okay, we’re going over there. Right. It’s a challenge to do that when you’re actually driving and you’re on the road and suddenly you see a shortcut and you’re like, Of course this work is challenging and it is hard, I agree.

Elizabeth Winkler: 30:15

I just think that we’re delusional if we think that that the person that’s doing the easy way is not in more suffering. You’re in more suffering. Yes.

davidji: 30:25

The easy way is suffering, the hard way is healing.

Elizabeth Winkler: 30:28

But actually, I think the the suffering is harder, is is my point. You might not think it is, but when you look back, you see that. You look back on your life and you see that that you were in denial and you were actually hurting yourself and so many people around you. And when you are more conscious, your karmic energy is not like pig pen. That’s why I kept seeing pig pen. It’s like everywhere he goes, he’s affecting the world with his That was my point, if I wasn’t being clear. Of when you’re unconscious, you’re creating so much karmic energy for yourself and others. That’s just continuing the suffering. And when you become more conscious of the impact, people don’t realize the impact of their behavior or their energy, you know, or their habits, as you said, or their fear, or their love. Everything has an impact. And so, what kind of impact do you want to have? And maybe that’s a good question to look at yourself and like how are my habits impacting different areas of my life? Own your impact, as you say. Many people don’t.

davidji: 31:41

So, what’s today’s takeaway?

Elizabeth Winkler: 31:43

Own your impact. Own your impact, and maybe take a look at your habits, your fears, your love, and what is the impact of them.

davidji: 31:54

And your fertilizer.

Elizabeth Winkler: 31:56

Yeah, use your shit. Whatever the impact of that habit or that fear, don’t let it be a problem, but use it. Use it as a teaching or a teacher to show you what else you want to do, what else you want to create. Use it all.

davidji: 32:13

My name is davidji We’re here with Elizabeth Winkler, the fertilizer, goddess of the galaxy, the nourisher. Jamar, take us back to Hawaii.

Music: 32:25

I wanna be afraid of the shadows in the dark. They will lead the way to the hidden pathways of the heart and that secret place. That is where I find my star. The life is beautiful, my bears and the pretty star.